The Saga of Mini Bike Winter, Part Four: Stupendous Sunday!
Technically Sunday started about the time we got to the Hawthorne Bridge, but Sunday for the Derailleurs started… considerably later.
So late that we missed much of the Mini Bike Winter Olympics, sadly, but the videos we’ve seen of it are awesome! And after a much-needed solid breakfast (and some liquid breakfast) at the Hungry Tiger, we did manage to catch the last few events – the derby (what some of us know as a foot-down contest)…
…figure-8 contest (like foot-down, but figure 8’s instead of circles – duh)…
…and the Cupcake Challenge! Some of the more sweet-toothed among us – okay, mostly me – hoped that it involved actual cupcakes that maybe we could weasel out of someone – but it turns out it was just named after Cupcake, the guy who invented it, who must be bonkers out of his mind, because the Cupcake Challenge involves riding a minibike in your underpants down a very long pier, off a ramp at the end, and into the swift-running, very polluted Willamette River.
WTF! We had an awesome time watching all of the brave competitors (Q: what do you win? A: nothing!), and then headed out to…
…the International Bike Dance Summit! We had a meeting room and everything! And we, the Sprockettes, the B:C:Clettes, the Irondelles and the Bicycle Belles (from Seattle, who sent representatives even though they didn’t perform) (and I think there was a Chain Reaction rep too?) sat in a big official square in the conference room at the Lucky Lab brewpub and discussed the future of bike dance and thus, the very future of humanity and the shape of the world to come. It was like the Project for the New American Century, except replace the evil with pure awesome. (Confidential to all other bike dance teams: email us! We’re getting a cabal going!)
And then to the event which had been making us excited and nervous for months and months – ZOOBOMBING! Agent Chaos is an original Zoobomber and we’d heard so much about their daring feats, we wanted to get in on it but we’d heard so many stories of gruesome mishaps. What if we all broke our heads and had to disband the Derailleurs? Fortunately we had many other veteran Zoobombers there to tell us not to be such worrywarts, and after a few logistical false starts, we all got on minibikes and the Max train and got ourselves to the top of the hill.
The gathering up there was magical – a pool of darkness in the middle of the lit-up city, rainy and tree-fringed, people talking and laughing – we stood in a circle and passed around a bottle of champagne, starry-eyed and shaky but ready for anything.
And oh, it did not disappoint! I won’t go into it too much cos I was part of the misdirection posse who somehow veered off the course and – er, I mean, I was part of the breaking-new-ground posse who somehow Zoobombed in a totally new and innovative way – but let me tell you, for a lazybones who loves going fast such as myself, it was a breathless blurry beautiful dream. I can’t wait to go back there and do it again. Hey Portland, what are you doing this weekend?